I once read a quote that went like this:

I've never had the opportunity to test the above theory but if I ever do, I think it's safe to say it'll be a crowded jail cell - and I have the photos to prove it. So if you want to see what kind of shenanigans occur when hanging out with friends of mine, just take a look at the photos below. It will become quickly apparent to you all that many of them have proved to be a bad influence on my otherwise angelic like behaviour. Of course, I like to think that they'd say the same thing about me. By the way, if anyone has any additional incriminating photos they'd like to see posted on this web site, just send them to me and I'll put them up.

• Pizza Experiment
  Despite allegations of cheating and corruption that plagued this particular pizza experiment competition, it was still an amazingly successful event because I was surrounded by good food and great friends.

• My Birthday - 2009
  My first birthdy as a Chicago resident was a great success. I was able to hang out with a couple of great, old friends as well as a few brand new friends. It was a fantastic night of food, drinks, and bowling. Actually, if food, drink, bowling, and me are all involved, how could it not be a great night, right?

• Revelstoke, British Columbia - 2009
  After being away from the West Coast for 2 months I could take it no longer. So I flew back and then drove 7 hours north (and a little east) to Revelstoke in British Columbia, Canada. It was unbelievable!

  A few quick stats about the mountain: 5620 feet of elevation gain, the longest run is 9.2 miles long, there are no lines for anything, and the terrain is rugged and tough since this is the first year most of the mountain has been open. Be warned: If you are not at least an intermediate skier/boarder, you will struggle on this mountain - there is nothing easy about it. Just the kind of mountain I like to ride.

• Chicago St. Patty's Weekend - 2009
  My first St. Patty's Day weekend in Chicago and it definitely lived up to expectations. There was a greenn river, old friends, new friends, and, well, quite a bit of green beer and even a home-made Irish car bomb in there somewhere. It was a great time.

• Leaving Seattle Party - 2009
  I will give my friends a lot of credit. I decided to leave Seattle on a Sunday and had a going away gathering the next day. I really didn't expect many people to show up but they did. I will miss all of these people as they made my 5 years in Seattle a great time in my life.

• Boarding Crystal Mountain Washington - 2009
  Beautiful day, beautiful mountain, and beautiful people. What more could anyone want from a day - except for maybe 12 inches of fresh powder. Even though there was no fresh snow, it was still an incredible day of boarding, and, as the pictures show, it was incredibly beautiful.

• Seattle Snow and Sledding - 2008
  Seattle usually gets one light dusting of snow a year which then quickly melts 24 hours later. Not so this year. Instead, it snowed for about 3 or 4 days and it stayed on the ground for over a week. Talk about chaos! Seattlites bought the stores out of water and other "survival" necessities. You'd think all these people came from California the way they panic when it snows.

  One really fun thing I did in the snow: go midnight sledding with my friend Sarah and a 6 pack of PBR. We had legit snow transportation in the form of an inner tube. Other people were riding whatever they could find: garbage can tops, old boxes, and I even saw one girl riding a sheet of bubble wrap down the hill. Seattlites may not be good in the snow, but they sure do know how to enjoy it.

• Stephanie's Italian Night - 2007
  What do you get when you cross a hot Italian dish with a bunch of hungry people? A bunch of cannibals eating Stephanie. Hahahahaha. Don't worry, no Italians were actually harmed in the making of that joke. In contrast to my own sense of humor, Italian night was actually a raging success with oodles of good food, lots of vino consumption, and plenty of incriminating photos being taken. Mangia!

• Halloween 2005
  Unlike last year where my originality took over and I made an awesome Snoopy costume from scratch, this year I decided to revert to an old standby and put on a purchased nun costume from a few years ago. Don't worry, my originality isn't completely wasted: I hiked the skirt way up and went as a slutty nun. So beware, I'm showing a lot of leg in the following pictures. We also had appearances by a sexy witch (Stephanie), Don Johnson (Tom), a habit of nuns (Scott J, Dave, and me), Jesus from The Big Labowski (Scott C), an acid dropping wizard (Gabe), Jem (Sarah), a giant red Crayola (Anne), an urban cowboy (John), a groovy witch (Andrea), a belly dancer (Stacy), and "I don't know what the hell it was" (Daryl).

• Yankees Baseball - 2005
  So I decided to be masochistic this year and play on two baseball teams. Masochistic because it's resulted in about 5 games a week for the past month. When I was 18 this was great; however, at the not quite in my prime age of 32, it generally takes my arm, legs, and back a little longer to recover than it used to. No worries, it's still a blast and I get to play with a lot of great guys. These pictures are a testament to that fact.

• Redmond Nine Baseball - 2005
  Summer time is here and there's baseball to be played. Fortunately, there's no requirement that you have to play it well. My Redmond Nine baseball team is now 0-8. The fact that I'm the ace pitcher on the staff might go a long ways towards explaining why this is the case. No matter, we're having a blast! In fact, on the night these pictures were taken, we were in the game until the last inning. Let's just say that the last inning was not kind to us - okay, we can add that I gave up two home runs. On the bright side, that was my lowest complete game total of the season so far. Next year we'll be a force!

• Dave Hunt's Bachelor Party
  It was a wild and crazy weekend. A bunch of us celebrated our friend Dave's last days of singledom. He's getting married at the end of September and we held a bachelor party in his honor. Realize that we're a bunch of computer programmers so our definition of "wild and crazy" equates to going fishing on the Olympic Peninsula for a weekend. It also included creating a new concoction of meat. Here's the recipe:
  1. Wrap hot dogs in bacon.
  2. Grill the orgy of pork.
  3. Remove dog in bacon and roll it up in large patty of hamburger (oh, and make sure to put a piece of cheese in there).
  4. Grill the hot dog, bacon, cheese, and hamburger roll.
  5. Place in bun, apply condoments, and eat.

  Eating health food like that, it's no wonder a couple of guys got horrifically ill on the 14 hour fishing trip into the Pacific Ocean on the next day. No worries, though, we all limited out on salmon. It was an awesome trip!

• McSwyds IV - 2005
  This year's McSwyds party was renamed to McSwyds IV to account for its silent member of the year before: Brett Liebmann the IV. Well, that and the fact that it helped us in conning his parents into letting a bunch of 30 somethings trying to act like teenagers come to their "cottage" (aka - big ass house) on Lake Michigan. While it was not the galla event of past years (and let's be honest, even Burning Man would have a hard time competing with McSwyds 2004 - The Ho Down of the Century), it was still a blast. Sailing, swimming, kayaking, bonfires that melted glass, and of course, there was a small amount of alcoholic beverages consumed.

• Sasquatch Music Festival
  I had heard rumors about this little festivus of musicus but had never been before. That situation has been rectified. Betsy, Stephanie, and I drove the several hours to the Gorge, roasted in 100 degree heat, and heard a bunch of great bands. The lineup ranged from the 12 year old indie singers of Smoosh to the dark and heavy lyrics of Modest Mouse, to the just plain weird sound of the Jewish Raggae singer Modest Yahoo (seriously, this guy was dressed in traditional rabbi attire and rocking out like he was Bob Marley on speed - it was awesome!). It was a hoot! The best band in my opinion: Arcade Fire. I've never seen a band actually beat up a drum stand before. Amazing!

• Chilly Hilly - 2005
  Ah, nothing quite like a nice 33 mile ride around a super hilly island on a cold February morning to get the blood flowing and help you analyze your sanity. Call me insane, but I had a blast!

• First BBQ of 2005
  The sun is out, the weather is warm, and there's the smell of lighter fluid and charcoal permeating my apartment. Must be BBQ season. Ahhhh...it's good to be a carnivore! Yep, Tom and I invited a bunch of friends over and commenced grilling copious amounts of animal flesh. Ain't it good to be at the top of the food chain in the spring?

• Shooting Guns - Part III
  It was that time of year again: a chill in the wind, good friends, good dogs, and the smell of gunpowder wafting through the air. Yep, it was winter back in Wisconsin and time to shoot some guns. This year's extravagansa saw a couple of new faces with the likes of Kate Hannon and Amber Lier joining us. But what would a redneck event at the McCormick household be like with out Schroeder, Hughy, Sutton, and one half of the Lessler combination (this year it was Leslie showing up with Dressler abstaining - probably to avoid getting out shot by all the women again). Good times...Good times.

• 2004 Christmas Party
  With only two weeks remaining in my old apartment on Summit Avenue, Amy convinced me to throw a small Christmas party. While things started out fairly tame and civilized they eventually degenerated into couples wrestling on the floor, a few of us drinking sake, and me auctioning off a good portion of my furniture. Yikes! It's a good thing Christmas only comes around once a year.

• Sushi and More
  It turns out that moving to Seattle has created a sushi addict out of me. Now, in theory there's nothing wrong with this - it's tasty, it's good for you, it's raw... But there's a problem: along with being as addictive as crack, it's more expensive. Once again, my friends Luke and Maikke to the rescue. It turns out you can actually make this stuff yourself (or, in my case, you can make friends with people that are capable of making it themselves, get invited over, and mooch off of them). This little photo gallery documents my first ever sushi party. Oh, and there's also a couple of pictures from my friend Nicki's birthday party at a Mexican restaraunt in Wallingford. While eating Mexican food isn't as good as eating sushi, it turns out that eating Mexican food while celebrating a friend's birthday is a pretty good time.

• HoneyBuckets 2004 Football Season
  2004 represented a year where the Microsoft HoneyBuckets lived up to their illustrious name (and if you have never heard of a HoneyBucket, think of a trip to a portable bathroom on a hot, humid August day). While it was shocking that our 4-4 record didn't land us in the playoffs, we did have the satisfaction of defeating the only undefeated team in the league on the last game of the season. These beautiful photos document that illustious event. I think it was obvious as we left the field that the rest of the league is quacking at the thought of facing us next year.

• Halloween 2004
  So it was that time of year again when Matt puts his creative juices to work and comes up with a great costume idea. I must admit that this year's costume was only partly my idea. By that I mean that Hugh Sugar in Madison suggested the idea, I stole it, and passed it off as my own. However, and I know I'm a little biased on this opinion but...I did an amazing job of executing on the design. Oh yeah, and my friend Tynille came to visit. It was her first experience with civilization after five months in the Alaskan bush. To make up for being back in the civilized world, she decided to put her new found apocolyptical skill of knitting to work and make me a hat. And an awesome hat it was!

• McSwyds 2004
  There have been complaints for a number of weeks that now (okay, it's actually been for a number of months now) that the McSwyds 2004 pictures have not made it up on to the LittleBarbarian site yet. Well, the long wait and many hours of anticipation are over - the McSwyds pictures are here! All the mud, fire, music, and debauchery in all its full color glory can now be enjoyed by the entire world. But take one note while you view these pulitzer worthy photos: next year's party will be even better. So if you weren't able to make it to McSwyds 2004, you should definitely make the 2005 shenanigans at the McCormick ranch a priority. And if you were at McSyds 2004...well... I have no doubts you'll be at the 2005 sequel.

• Camping Near Camano Island
  Ahhh...a successful fishing/crabbing trip in the Pacific Northwest. Okay, so we didn't actually catch any legal crab and the trout we caught were stocked (aka: dumb) and only about 12 inches long, but, hey, there's nothing wrong with a 12 incher (at least that's what I've been told).

• Night at the Terrace
  Documentary proof of my annual pilgrimage back to the University of Wisconsin terrace to indulge myself in a good beer (okay, maybe more than one), see a fantastic sunset over Lake Mendota, and enjoy the company of some great friends. Probably my favorite place in the world to spend a relaxing afternoon.

• Boston Trip
  I made my first journey to the historic city of Boston to see the birthplace of the American Revolution - well, that and to see my friend Heather, drink beer at a local brewery, dance to the groovey sounds of an 80's/90's cover band, and to eat Italian food in the North End. Great city! Great trip! My only regret was I showed up a week before the opening of baseball season - I guess I'll just have to go back.

• Skiing Utah - 2004
  Incredible! Awesome! Amazing! Stupendous! All around fantastic! "What," you ask, "deserves such high praise?" Me? Well, yes, but that's not what I'm talking about in this case. This praise is meant for the snow that graces the Wasatch Mountains of Utah every winter. Some of the mountains got more than 40" of snow in the 48 hours before we got there! Absolutely incredible! If you've never had the chance to go, you're missing out on arguabley the best snow in the world. Of course, I highly recommend going with a bunch of good friends. You know, the type that will drag you out to one of the local watering holes until 2 in the morning the day before the best snow you've ever been in in your life. Thanks, boys!

• Shooting Guns - Part II
  Well it was that time of year again: the tree had been decorated, the stockings were hung by the chimney with care, and not even a mouse was stirring. This latter event most likely occured as a result of four guys from the sticks (my old roomate Schroeder, my brother Jamie, my dad, and myself) teaming up with 3 city slickers (two of the Sugar boys and Jeff Olsen) and my mom to blast away at clay pigeons on Christmas Eve morning at the McCormick homestead. And just for good measure, we made sure to bring a dog along. Yes, the mice (and everyone sane) were definitely running for cover. Oh, and for the record, Dressler no longer needs to feel alone in being out shot by his significant other - my mom outshot my dad!

• Halloween 2003
  It is often said that, "Blondes have more fun," but, as a good looking brunette, I can tell you that brown haired nuns have way more fun. Needless to say, Halloween 2003 was a great time for everyone involved.

• Porkfest 2002
  Your number one question at this point should be, "What is Porkfest?" It's a big party in northern Wisconsin of course. "So why do we call it Porkfest?" you ask. Well, in the words of a wise man (Mike Becker) if you're going to have a party, you've got to have a theme. With this bit of wisdom, Porkfest was born in the mind of Joe Vale (Porkfest's infamous President and CEO). As Porkfest's minister of Information and Technology, I hope you enjoy these photos of the festivus for the rest of us.

• Crabbing
  As summer was winding down a few of us decided to make a trip up to the Bremerton, WA area to try our luck at catching crabs. So inside this link you'll find lots of pictures of a bunch of us catching crabs. It was a beautiful evening so we had a lot of fun catching crabs. I highly recommend that everyone go out and try catching crabs sometime - it'll be a blast.

• Shooting Guns
  What good would a web site by the little barbarian be if it didn't include some photos of shooting guns? Seven of us headed out to the McCormick ranch to take out our wrath on some clay pigeons. The best part was watching Leslie and Lisa Rattan - who had never shot a gun before - take aim. What was even funnier, was to watch Leslie out-shoot Dressler. Since there weren't nearly enough photos, you'll have to stay tuned for Shooting Guns - Part II which is bound to take place soon.

• Vilas Pizza Party
  Sometime in 2002, Kris Dressler suggested throwing the first and possibly last Vilas Pizza Experiment. Well, it was a raging success and we had several more. The pictures you see here are from the third and possibly last Vilas Pizza Experiment. Lots of pictures of pizza and those who participated in this possibly extinct diversion.

• Utah Ski Trip - 2003
  I was very fortunate to be invited to the annual skiing/snowboarding trip at the Wake's vacation home in Park City, Utah. It was a 19 hour drive to get there and worth every second. And if you've ever had the "pleasure" of being stuck in a car with Hughy's butt, you know that it must have been an awesome trip. While there are no pictures of the amazing slopes, we did get some pictures of Brett and Schroeder trying to light their farts, DeBaker reading a Penthouse magazine, and Hugh fondling himself in his sleep. There were a few other pictures but they have been banned because, as you can probably already tell, I'm trying to run a family oriented web site here!

• Matt's Going Away Party - Part I
  So before I left for the Pacific northwest, some of my friends decided to throw me a going away party. It was quite the galla event, with decorations and all. I think a great time was had by all but I can't be certain of that because someone brought booze to the party! Whoever you are, I'll find you someday. And when I do, you, too, will be forced to drink an entire gallon of Warped Speed Scotch Ale.

• Matt's Going Away Party - Part II
  In true Madison tradition, I didn't have just one going away party but two. The second one involved good friends, good beer, a good band, and a lot of hot chicks (all of which can be included in the first category, too). Needless to say, my last weeks in Madison were a blast.